D-MER(Dysphoric Mik Ejection Reflex)
D-MER while breastfeeding
Breastfeeding is often described as a beautiful bonding experience between mother and baby—but for some mothers, there is a confusing and distressing emotional response that appears right as the milk lets down. This is called Dysphoric Milk Ejection Reflex (D-MER), and while it can be unsettling, it’s important to know it is real, it is physical, and you are not alone.
What is D-MER?
D-MER is a sudden wave of negative emotions that happens just before milk begins to flow. These feelings usually last for only 30–90 seconds and then ease once the let-down has passed. They can happen during breastfeeding, pumping, or even with spontaneous let-downs.
How does it feel?
Every mother describes D-MER a little differently, but many use words such as:
A hollow feeling in the stomach
Sadness, dread, or hopelessness
Nervousness or anxiety
Irritability or emotional upset
The intensity can also vary. D-MER is often described across three levels: despondency, anxiety, and agitation. For some, the feelings are mild and fleeting; for others, they can feel much more overwhelming.
Why does it happen?
D-MER is not a sign of postpartum depression or a lack of bonding. Research suggests it is linked to a temporary dip in dopamine, the brain’s “feel-good” chemical, which happens as part of the milk ejection reflex. In other words—this is your body’s reflex, not your fault.
What can help?
Understanding it: Simply knowing that D-MER is real can bring relief.
Tracking patterns: Notice when and how often it occurs—this can help you feel more in control.
Self-care: Grounding techniques like deep breathing, having a calm environment, or gentle distractions can sometimes ease the intensity.
Support: Talking with a lactation consultant or healthcare provider can help you explore strategies and reassure you that you’re not alone.
You’re not broken
If you experience D-MER, remember—it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong, or that you love your baby any less. It’s a physical reflex that will often lessen with time. Reaching out for support can make this journey feel lighter.
You deserve compassion, care, and encouragement—because your wellbeing matters, too.
For more information go to d-mer.org